The shop….its open…..its finally, frickin’ open!!!!
Warning! This blog may come across selfish, bitter, playing victim and whatever else I think I know you’ll think…
For the past 3 and half months I’ve been playing single mum to the 2 kids. This probably wouldn’t have been so bad apart from it started not long after I returned to work full time from maternity leave. Matilda was only 5 months old when I went back to work so she was still really young. It helped that she settled into nursery so quickly and gained a great bond with her key worker. That made me feel better.
It was just tackling Ruby…the daddy’s girl. Whose daddy was no longer around much. Only on a morning when getting both girls ready and dropping both off at nursery/school. What was I left with??….the horrendous evenings of paddy’s, meltdowns, refusals to go to bed ‘cos she missed daddy.
I work 4 long days a week – 7am to 5pm. My morning routine was actually quite good. Up, ready, go. Apart from when Adam refused to get out of bed (angry Helen reared her ugly head) But the evenings were harder, at first. If you know me well you’ll know that I like to be organised, I like things at home in order or I don’t feel in order and I can’t function. Evenings went a bit like this…Finish work at 5pm, try to get to nursery before 6pm to get Tilly, go get Ruby from wherever she is hoping she’s had some tea, home, girls in bath, Tilly to bed, Ruby does homework, Ruby to bed, clean, tidy, washing, ironing, vacuuming, get everything ready for the next day, my tea somewhere in that, then bed. No sitting down, no TV (i’ve even missed the latest season of the Kardashians!!) Sometimes this went really well. Other times it didn’t. Matilda was fine unless teething. But Ruby…my god did she have some meltdowns. Ruby is a real daddy’s girl. So to go from having him around to not at all and mummy doing everything was really hard on her. She cried, she cried, she cried some more. She found it hard. She wasn’t naughty or playing up…she just missed her daddy. Very quickly I realised that I couldn’t be supermum and that actually I needed to stress less about the housework and spend a bit more time with Ruby. I let her stay up a little longer than usual, read her 3 books in bed instead of 1. We had sleepovers, film nights, games nights. And eventually she got used to the new way. My housework did get done…just slowly, spread across a few nights rather than a couple. I couldn’t do it on a weekend ‘cos having 2 kids when trying to clean and iron is a little difficult let me tell you. Plus, with being on my own with them I wanted to make the most of the weekends. Weekend were for fun.
Anyway, as the end was getting closer, Ruby started counting down and she wasn’t half holding Adam to it. If he even dare move the deadline I dread to think what would have happened!!!
For me, what I found hard was that I felt trapped. Its not like I had time to do anything on an evening, I couldn’t go for a run, I couldn’t go out for meals with my friends, to the cinema with my sister. At first there was an odd night but all it meant was that the deadline was put back making the process longer. It was only weekends where I went out and that was with the kids. I literally had no life other than in my 4 walls and was on weekend release ha ha.
I know, i know, you’re thinking ‘Helen, there are plenty of people out there that do this their whole life’ and I know that. This isn’t me playing the Poor me card I am merely just writing my feelings and experience down.
However, there were some benefits. A bond, a stronger bond was created between Ruby and I. With her being a daddys girl, when he is home, I don’t get a look in. But she just had me so we became best friends. Another benefit is that I realised I could do this on my own. Not that I needed to as Adam wasn’t gone for good. But I realised how much I depended on him beforehand. I also realised how much I took him for granted. Before all this I moaned that he never helped with housework, and that he couldn’t use the excuse that he did the DIY (as thats not an every day thing) but what he did do was entertain the kids while I could get on and do those things. Once he wasn’t around I realised that I couldn’t do these things until the kids were in bed. It was unfair if anything.
Adam, on the othet hand got the real raw end of the deal. Getting to work 9am every morning on site, finishing there at around 5pm, going to the shop building his shop up, getting home generally around midnight sometimes later. He ate rubbish, his body was drained of energy, then having to get up early every morning to get ready before I left for work and doing it all over again. 7….days….a…..week. The only days he had off were my birthday and his.
BUT…3 and half months down the line and he can say he has a Bathroom Showroom. Not just any showroom but one that he has built from the ground up…literally. And its amazing!!
The shop….its open…..its finally, frickin’ open!!!!
Even if you aren’t planning on doing your bathroom yet just call in for a nosey. I want to show off how amazing his work is.
Adam Gregg, my husband, the entrepreneur (eeeek)
Like his facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/BespokeDesignBathrooms/
I’m not guna lie….its now going to take time for me to adjust to having him around again!!!
Live, love and laughter